Monday - Monday

Today is the official beginning of a new year of seeking employment. So far this week I only have one interview scheduled, but I am hoping to hear from another person whom I also did a telephone interview with last week about an opportunity in Oakland. 
I have to be in my professional mode tomorrow for the interview, and after taking a hard look in the mirror, I can see I need to do some work on the eyebrows and nails, and stuff like that there. I didn't do the get pristine thing for the holiday weekend, so today will be given over to preparing myself to present myself as the professional I am during tomorrows meetings. 
Of course, I did not receive any complaints from he that was closest to me of anyone else this past weekend. Though to be candid, I don't think my eyebrows were his main concern during our 'visit'. The benefits to be found in experiencing a series of stress relieving orgasms before an important meeting or interview are not to be taken lightly. After last night, I am relaxed and ready to represent myself in the best possible light, and I can now focus without distraction on making an excellent impression on the people with whom I am scheduled to meet tomorrow. 
If only my water pump had not gone out on my car! 
I would much rather have the half hour before the interview to myself to get my zen on. Instead of focusing on myself, I will be riding with a friend who I know has an interest in forming a more intimate relationship with me, though he has yet to put it out there in a manner in which I can respond and consider seriously. I've known him four years, and though there have been nights spent at his home, I have never, ever been naked with him, or even felt that his passes were made with the seriousness or confidence required of a man who seeks intimacy with me. I do appreciate and enjoy the activities which we have shared - outings that is - and I hesitate to check him out with my own natural degree of aggressiveness. What if we have bad sex? What if he thinks the bad sex is good? How does one weigh the value of the friendship you have with a man versus the intimate relationship one might have? I would hate to lose his friendship, and I would hate for him to not be what I want and need in a lover, because once one takes that step, it is impossible to revert back to friends when the memory of a messed-up session of intimacy intrudes. One thing I worry about most is the fact that I won't tolerate bad sex, and I don't think practice makes perfect when addressing sexual compatibility between a man and a woman. I think if it doesn't go well during the first encounter, I don't have the interest or patience to keep trying until I think it's right for me. Understand this; I have sex for myself and the pleasure I find in the various private acts of intimacy, as well as public acts of risque - or exhibitionistic behavior. He who doesn't enjoy the titillations which I do is not a person whom I can consider for a partner. 
Anyway, this post went askew from where I began as many of my writings will when I am just going 'stream of conscious' writing such as I am this morning. That is what happens when I let my thoughts flow as they may, and I am okay with that. 


Monday - Monday.... La La La Da Da...