Destroy The Past - Move On With The Game?

You know, I have been sitting here contemplating cleaning off a lot of old correspondence and photos from my hard drive. The problem is most of the things come from a single person for whom I have carried significant feelings over a number of years, until recently.

When I was younger, I used to keep every letter that I received, via the old school postal mail method, and now, I do the same with emails or other electronic communications. Eventually over time, those letters all disappeared through various situations in life such as various moves, moods, and emotional migrations.

Here is the difficulty I am facing right now. My emotional migration has not completed yet. This being the case, I now am left wondering – will the destruction and release of these items which I attach much more value to than the giver ever did - help me to complete the emotional migration? For the last two weeks, I have been telling myself that it would. Don’t get me wrong, I have not been obsessing about this, but every couple of days, I think about if the time is right to make my moving forward complete. If not complete, perhaps it would make it easier. It is the use of the words maybe and perhaps which haven’t allowed me to begin the process of destroying the tangible evidence of my interactions with this person.

Another facet, which has me feeling that this would be a beneficial step for me to take, is the fact that they apparently had no problem destroying the things he received from me; the things he begged me to give, he destroyed. This is what I was told when I expressed my displeasure with his failures to complete any single thing which was continually promised me, by him. This is in fact what pulled my head completely out of the game with them.

There are two things I feel about his saying he destroyed my writings and photos:

1. He lied to me – simply because he never had any intention of doing the things he promised. This is his unbalanced way of thinking some sort of equality of interest, commitment, and effort has been restored.
2. I can’t stand the fact that I am left feeling that he is a liar, a manipulator, and an unapologetic ass.

It is these feelings that cause me to feel that the time has drawn nigh to remove the things which would tend to make me want to give it another shot. I know there is nothing to come of any interactions with this person going forward, and I have resigned myself to a place in their life, which is no place at all. 

But… Because of a previous “bullshit shower” experience with this man and an unacknowledged “backstabbing" and a HUGE "failure to be MY friend” situation with this person, I guess I feel that the destruction of everything is NOT what would be in my best interest. I don’t trust him anymore. He has made several unsolicited promises upon which he failed to follow through, and that with my disbelief in his destruction of the items, I feel I need to keep my 'proof'. You can tell me I’ll try, you can tell me let me see what I can do. What you can not do is this - You cannot tell me you promise one single gawd damn thing and fail, and then expect me to place trust in your words or your actions ever again.